Been busy/ been chillin'

Last night at the Actorsite, I performed for manager (and president of the Talent Managers' Association), Steve Nash. I performed with another Actorsiter, Leslie Thurston, and the scene went very well. I got to play another (self-proclaimed) "ghetto" character. It's a trip b/c Leslie (who I met a couple of weeks ago when we did a different scene together) kept mentioning that I was "playing against type," but I didn't feel it was against type AT ALL. I think that's just as much of a part of me as the upscale social-climber. It's interesting to see how I'm perceived. Our scene got a good response from the whole room. Mr. Nash seems like a genuinely nice guy, an all-around professional, and someone who knows what he is talking about. I would love to have him on my team, but even if that never happens, I learned quite a bit during the Q&A.

I also got a call yesterday about an audition today for a short to be placed at the top of LionsGate's DVDs. I was to play a nurse in a psych ward. I couldn't find the original breakdown, but I thought I remembered submitting myself for a role that required a "Nurse Ratchet" type. The first thing that popped into my mind is "where can I find a lab coat?" I bought one for $6 at the Goodwill. It was questionable-looking (yellowed), and a little large, but had all of it's buttons and was otherwise intact. I brought it home and soaked it overnight in a bucket of soapy bleach water, then washed it, starched it, and ironed it this morning. Looks BRAND NEW!

I dressed to match my "nurse" headshot (minus the glasses), and when I got to Deluxe Studios in Burbank, as I was getting out of my car, I realized "duh, nurses wear scrubs--NOT friggin' LAB COATS!!" Anyway, I went in there like I owned the place (you know how I do) ;o)

There were no sides. I was told it would be improv. Not my strong suit, but what the heck, right? I got in there and got asked to talk about my job as a nurse, to tell them a strange story about a day on the job, why I went into nursing, and how I liked my job. I answered as if I were in a "Nurse Ratchet" frame of mind. About 3/4 of the way through I start to wonder if maybe this is not THAT audition. The people in the room were looking at me crazy--I am SURE I was inappropriate (especially when I referred to the psych patients as "crazy") but they wanted to know what I thought, so I told 'em.

It's a tightrope. Most artists go into this business to "express ourselves" but with all of the "you shouldn'ts" and "you can'ts" associated with the business side, we succumb to fear. In doing so, we get further and further away from what makes us unique. What makes us "us." I don't want that. I like me, I'm happy with me, and I'm better at being a "real" me than a "fake" somebody else. What else do I have?

I was trippin' yesterday b/c I haven't yet been paid for any work I did last month, and I haven't yet paid JUNE RENT! I don't like that. I know the funds are coming, I've worked for them, but I like money in the bank!! I got one check today, so once another one comes in, I'll be fine. Things are tight, but I'm hustlin'.

I know I said it before, but I talked to a good friend of mine last night about my inability to relax. It sounds crazy out loud, but it's a problem. He basically told me that I just have to DO IT. So I took my butt to bed at a decent time yesterday, got up refreshed this morning (WHAT??) and plan to go to bed right after Jay Leno tonight (if not sooner). This past year has been busier, and I've worked harder (at something that I love) than I ever have. Failure is not an option, so I've been pushing myself, but I have to take care of myself or I will self-destruct. No thank you--I ain't goin' out like that. I went to the library today, picked up some books, and spent the afternoon lying down reading.

I've had a lot of time alone to just reflect, and in doing so, I am becoming more and more familiar with (and comfortable with) different facets of myself. That's a good thing--as a human being, and as an artist.

BTW, yesterday I edited MY milk commercial so that I'm the only one in it, lol. I'm going to use that footage for my reel. I'm surprised at how GOOD it looks!!

Alright, I'ma finish watching the Matt Lauer/ Britney Spears interview. One question, though--WHY DOESN'T SOMEBODY GET THAT BIG CLUMP OF MASCARA OFF OF HER LASHES??? IT'S BEEN THERE SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THE INTERVIEW! DANG! She's having a rough time right now--why doesn't somebody help the girl out?

Alright, Ciao.