My apartment smells like @$$, and I am quite unhappy!! I think I left too much water on the carpet yesterday when I shampooed it and it soured. It seems to be coming from right in front of the door, so I sprinkled two boxes of baking soda on the carpet, and hopefully tomorrow will be a different situation altogether.
I have a tough time with blogging b/c I have to figure out how to strike a balance between talking about what’s going on in my life and telling too much. I stayed up really late last night (like 3:30AM), so I didn’t get up as early as planned so I felt like I was behind the 8 ball most of the day. Went to an iMovie workshop at the Mac store, then came home, did laundry, discovered that my carpet was funky, so I re-shampooed, then I had to get cleaned up and head to LA for my “Holding Trevor” audition. Now, about that audition...
I was a bit apprehensive b/c (I confess) I hadn’t prepared the way I should have. I find that the more advance time I have with the script, the more I procrastinate. The result is a lack of confidence. So with the lack of time and lack of confidence I thought about canceling. I mentioned that while speaking to my mother and she asked me “you got it like that now?” (thanks Mama for keeping my feet on the ground). I DON’T “have it like that” and the last thing I need to be doing is canceling auditions, so I called Ralphs and asked if I could be 1/2 hr. late with the carpet shampooer (yes), and drove to the audition. While driving (and reading the monologue that I should have memorized a week earlier), I made some choices I got into the room and I was actually feeling pretty good, considering. UNTIL I was told that I had printed the wrong sides!! (WHAT?) So I said that if they gave me the correct sides, I would be happy to look them over & come back in, after all, “I’m an actress—that’s what I do” (never mind the fact that an actress actually PREPARES, but I can flog myself later). So I went in and I think it went well. They also asked me to perform what I had (ahem) prepared.
I will NEVER go into another audition unprepared if I can help it. I pride myself on being professional and prepared, and this is self-sabotage at it’s finest. It is unacceptable for me, and I will not tolerate it from myself. I’m in it to win it, yall, and this ain’t the way.
I tend to be high-strung (even when I look cool, calm, and collected) and it wreaks havoc on me from time to time. This is one of those times. Not quite ready to put it into words yet, I need to think about it first More later... (did I mention that my "check engine" light came on??)