Thursday, February 22, 2007

What's my mantra??

If you read my blog regularly, you know it by now, so let's say it all together... "I really should be asleep, but..."

The same is true right now.

I'm just thinking, though. A friend of mine recently reminded me of something that happened about 3 years ago. I was broke, so I called and asked my father to loan me some money. The amount I requested wasn't a particularly LARGE sum of money, I KNEW he had it, I don't borrow money often (and then only when I really really need it), and of the few times in my life that I have borrowed money from my father, I have paid him back every single, solitary cent. Still, the loan came with a lot of hemming, hawing, and a lecture. I knew it would, and braced myself, hoping it would be quick.

He suggested that I follow a more stable career path. I rolled my eyes "whatever, man" I thought to myself, "heard it all before", and I had. What artist HASN'T heard the words "Get a real job!"?? What I heard next really had me depressed for a few days. Like, I stayed in the bed all day, depressed. He suggested that I get trained to be a mortician. Do you hear me?? A MORTICIAN, of all things!!

Before I proceed, I feel compelled to make it abundantly clear that I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with morticians. They are providing a very necessary service (just think about it), and it's an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. BUT nobody who knows me even a LITTLE BIT is going to suggest that I go do ANYTHING that is going to require me to be around dead people. What?!?

Still, here I was...grown, broke, couldn't pay my rent, and having to ask my father for money. I had a college degree (thank GOD) but I started asking myself--"is this what my life has come to? What am I doing?"

My friend Beverly called me, and mentioned that I sounded a little down. I think I had been in bed 2-3 days at that point. I told her what was going on, and after she finished laughing she talked me down off the roof by telling me about some of her experiences (she's a writer) with naysayers, and encouraging me to perservere. I decided then and there not to take advice from people who weren't qualified to give it. My father knows a LOT of things, and has been a wealth of information over the years, but information regarding building a career in the entertainment industry? Probably not the best source of info for me.

I got out of bed, took a shower and started moving forward. I haven't stopped yet. Hopefully I'm at the beginning of my journey, and Lord-willing, I'll be at this for a long time.

Okay, NOW I can go to bed.

Good night.

--Nicole

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