Sunday, December 30, 2007

Taking time to reflect...

I don't do "resolutions," I set goals for myself. Some might think that the difference is merely semantic, but I disagree. One can resolve to do something, and just as quickly become irresolute, but once you set a goal (and, for me, goal-setting involves writing down the steps necessary to achieve that goal), there is a higher level of commitment. Writing it down (and looking at it daily) is ESSENTIAL.

That being said, I have been taking time to take care of me lately. I'm not running around town dropping off headshots right now, and I'm not on LA Casting and Actors Access looking at breakdowns. I didn't go to Chicago (as I had planned) for Christmas. I decided to forego the hustle and bustle of holiday travel, and the Chicago weather for R & R in LA (of all places). I seem to have made it happen.

I have been, alternately, painting, writing, thinking, sleeping in, cooking, eating, drinking, watching movies, talking to friends and family, and putting together my goals for the upcoming year. In putting together my grand list of things to do, I have to evaluate my "dreams." Acting is one item on a LONG LIST of things I would like to experience and accomplish in my lifetime. My task now is to keep moving forward in my acting career, keep the bills paid, make sure I keep myself fulfilled creatively, nurture the relationships that are important to me, stay healthy, travel, and find balance in the midst of it all. The balance part seems to be the most difficult for me because whatever I do, I do all the way, and other areas of my life have to take a backseat until I get it done. That's not working for me anymore, so, I am making changes.

One thing I have just realized is the fact that I have been looking at my career all wrong. I'm an artist. I love acting, so I thought a career in acting would fulfill me creatively. This year has been a good one business-wise, but I really only worked as an actor for about 15 days total the whole year, and for anyone who has ever been on a set, you know most of that was spent sitting around waiting for my turn to act. So how fulfilled could I be? I'm not complaining because I've been able to pay my bills and get my health insurance, but I now realize that I can't rely on "show-business" for creative fulfillment, I just have to rely on show business (and more than one aspect of it) to pay the bills. It's not emotional, it's business, baby.

So...I have some other projects that I'm working on, some classes I'm considering, and some guidelines I'm giving myself. 2008 will find a new and improved Nicole. I't's a sprint, not a marathon, so I have to take care to self-preserve.

"Talk" soon.


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