It's been a while since I posted here exclusively. Usually I post at "Unscripted" and link to it here, but this post is a stream-of-consciousness sort of thing, and I don't know exactly where it's going to go, but I do know that it's not going to have much to do with acting.
I set goals, I figure out what steps I have to take to reach them, and when I reach them, I move on to something else. That's the way I've always been. Always wanting to learn, do, achieve more.
But acting is my career. Correction, "SHOW BUSINESS" is my career. I've accepted the fact that it has little to do with the acting that I was trained to do, and the acting bug that bit me was of a different species than what I find myself doing on set. So, show business is a way to make money. On the rare occasion, I luck into a gig that allows for some creativity, but mostly, it's all business.
But I am creative. And I have to keep it moving. While I don't want to end my show-business career, I have been thinking of supplemental things that I can do that will allow me to exercise my creativity and continue to grow as an artist. I write, but don't produce (except for a short I did for a friend), I paint for fun. I sing sometimes. I make stuff: artsy-craftsy stuff. Sometimes I give a few away, but mostly I make things, then put them in my cabinets.
Making shoes and purses would be cool. Natural hair and skin care products would be cooler still. And publishing a book would be great. But the red tape...
I've had all of the red tape that I can stand with "show business". I've also been considering slam poetry. Some of the poetry that I write lends itself to it. I just have to do it.
So that's where I am. Figuring it all out. Once upon a time, all of my focus was on my acting career. Making it happen. It's happening, and it's not quite what I expected, still I am grateful to be able to make my living this way. I know how fortunate I am.
Still I can't rest on my laurels. I am restless.
--Nicole
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