Saturday, July 17, 2010

Today, I choose joy.

I know I keep singing "it has been rough" like it's a song.  I don't like to be negative, I just have to be honest, and that's the truth:  The past year has been R-O-U-G-H.  I am watching every single penny and rationing gasoline.  I am on a tightrope, and it is causing lots of stress.  I never know how I'm going to pay my rent from month to month.  I'm probably going to lose my health insurance in October (because I can't combine the amounts I've earned under SAG & AFTRA).  The stress manifests itself in ways that affect me physically sometimes.

I feel like I'm going backwards and I hate it.  I stay awake at night, searching for solutions, or a combination of fixes that will get me through.  There's a way.  I refuse to believe otherwise.

I look to people in situations far worse than I.  People in Haiti.  Fishermen on the gulf coast.  People with terminal illnesses.  People who can't make ends meet and who have families to support.  I have only myself, I am pretty healthy, I have people who love me, and I have OPTIONS.

Looking for solutions has caused me to incessantly focus on the problems.  Today, I am choosing to focus on the blessings.  Things aren't as great as they once were, but they could be so much worse.

I don't want to be stressed out anymore.  I'll just do the best that I can, and what will be, will be.  Today, I choose joy.

--Nicole

*I'm also on avail for a commercial.  Hopefully I'll book it.  I'm also hoping that my Progressive Insurance commercial will start to run on Monday!

No comments: