Monday, December 06, 2010

From This Day Forward...


Today is my BIRTHDAY! YAYY! I probably sound juvenile, after all - we ALL have birthdays, so mine isn't any more special than anyone else's, but it is more personal, because it's MINE, and that makes it *feel* more special. (How 'bout that?) The fact that I've had lots of birthdays makes it even more special, because it's like seeing how many sugar cubes you can stack vertically before the whole shebang falls to the ground. One more sugar cube on the stack today, and I'm cheering, dagnabbit!

*Pausing b/c my dad & stepmom just called me, singing!*

Do I feel older? Not in the ways that I always thought I would when I got thiiiiis close to 40. I've recently come to believe that you never really feel old (with the exception of the times when someone younger tells you that they weren't even alive when you were in college or something like that). I think, if you work it right, your body gives out before your spirit does. I hope that's the case with my life, and though I am starting to fray slightly about around the edges (when I sit on the floor, it's a little tougher to get up these days) I'm going to do what I can to take care of this body because I can't swap it for a new one if I drag it through the streets let it get raggedy.

The more sugar cubes I stack, the more grateful I feel. My mind is far less on acquiring "stuff" than it is on appreciating the fact that I really do have everything that I need. That I have some pretty awesome people in my life. That each moment is a new one, and I alone, am equal parts free and responsible for choosing what I will do with it.

I recently read Leo Babauta's book "focus", and it spoke to me in the same way that his blog does. I've decided to implement a number of the suggestions that he introduces in the book, like getting up earlier, and writing every day. Like getting rid of non-essential tasks. So far, so good. I've stumbled a few times, but once these become habits, I'll start working on other things I'd like to improve.

From this day forward, I will do my best to interact with people in such a way that their lives are a little brighter after we part. To never stop being curious, and asking questions. To never stop standing in my truth, and encouraging other people to do the same. From this day forward, I refuse to consent to crawl when I feel compelled to fly.

As with many of us, I have a number of skills and talents, but I'm starting to wonder if that's my greater purpose. Heck, maybe it's been EVERYBODY'S greater purpose all along, and I'm finally having an "aha" moment. I think Marianne Williamson put it best:

"And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others."


Check back in with me at 40, and see how I'm doing. And please, feel free to nudge me along the way, if I appear to be wandering.

Okay, I'm headed out to get free stuff from all of the stores that give freebies to birthday girls (and boys too)! I'm gonna start at Starbucks, hit up Sephora, and The Body Shop, then I'll holler at Borders Books and Black Angus later in the week. Hello!

XOXO

--Nicole

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