A showbiz-related question that I get asked a LOT is "how do you handle the rejection." My answer: "I don't take it personally." As long as I've done everything that I can do to prepare and present well in the audition, I know it's not about me. They just wanted someone who offered something different. If I'm an apple and "they" want an orange, I can be the shiniest, yummiest apple ever, but I'm still not an orange.
What I do take very personally is the work that I present. I do my homework at home, and then go into the room and give 'em what I have. My auditions usually go well. As a professional, it's my job to make them go well.
But sometimes, despite my best efforts, they go right into the tank.
As in: septic.
And that really hurts my feelings.
I tank 1-2 a year. I remember the1 from last year, and this year, I've tanked 2. The latest was yesterday. I had a lot of trouble memorizing the scene. I just couldn't seem to retain it, no matter how much I ran it, so I had a fellow actor come over and work on it with me. By the end it was pretty good, but it wasn't 'ready.' I went to bed, got up early, worked on it some more, and went to my audition, reciting my (memorized) lines, and pushing away the nerves.
I rarely get nervous anymore - that's how I knew something was wrong. I felt like I was about to start hyperventilating as my name was called. Still, professional here - I pushed away the feeling. I just had to be stellar for 60 seconds - surely I could do that!
Nope. I started the scene over twice (which means I almost got through it 3 times). By the 3rd time, I was reading off of the paper and just wanted to leave the room. When I left, I was upset and agitated, and sat in my car for awhile, playing it over in my head. Eventually I drove home, and parked myself on the couch. Later, there was ice cream. And a cookie.
It still stings today. I did everything I normally do. I did everything "right" in my preparation... how did everything go so wrong?
I don't know. Really, all I can do is let it go. Actors are humans, not robots, and isht just happens sometimes.
Win or lose, it's always on to the next one.
P.S. - I just remembered that I also looked into the camera a couple of times. A real no-no unless it's a show that removes the 4th wall and lets you interact directly with the viewer. This wasn't.