Fortunate.

I saw this little pink fuzzy in the empty hallway
on the way to my audition. It made me
laugh more than it probably should have.
I'm sharing in case you wanna laugh too!

I just had to take a moment and reflect on how fortunate I feel am in this moment.

Yesterday I had coffee with an actress with whom I chat on Twitter and have met in-person at auditions, but we have never sat & talked in person.  I had scheduled a lunch meeting (working lunch) with a friend to hammer out a rough outline of a film project that we are creating.  Going into it, I expected the meetings to be positive experiences, but (introvert that I am), I figured I'd be tired at the end of the day, because I generally take my social interactions in small doses.  Imagine my surprise when, upon leaving the 2nd meeting, I felt uplifted and not at all tired.

Later last night, one of the actresses told me that a "name" actress had been cast in the pilot that I was hoping to book.  I was disappointed, but it was a low-grade annoyance instead of total sturm und drang.  I boo'ed the "name actress" (light-heartedly, I swear), sent an email to my manager and theatrical agent, and moved on mentally.

This morning, before I headed out to an audition, my manager responded to my email with words of kindness and encouragement, and a way of thinking about the situation that I hadn't considered before.  She's wonderful like that.

I went to my TV show audition, and I was the first actor to arrive at the casting office.  About 10 minutes after I got there, an actress/friend walked in and told me she had been thinking about me (I hadn't seen her in awhile).  Though we are both professionals and know better than to get too talky in the audition waiting room, we caught up until other actors started arriving, then quieted down.  After we both had auditioned, we continued our conversation as we walked to our cars, discovered that we have been facing similar challenges, made each other laugh, made plans to connect soon, and wished each other good luck, i.e. - "If I don't get the job, I hope YOU get it!"  Again, I left feeling energized.

I haven't worked in awhile, my money is starting to look a little funny, and I'm all about drumming up more auditions for myself, so I went down the street to nearby casting offices and dropped off my headshot.  When I returned to my car, I had an email from my commercial agent saying that I hadn't booked a job that I was short-listed for.  I booed (out loud) and moved on, mentally.  I'm professional, talented, trained, and work will come.

I ran some errands, then when I got home I got a text from a VO agent saying that I've received a residual payment for a commercial that I have running.

That's when I just had to pause and look at how fortunate I am.  While some very close relationships have fallen by the wayside this year, others are springing up.  I have some truly wonderful people in my life.  While I haven't worked on anything new for a few months despite my best efforts, I am confident and hopeful, and while I remain so, blessings continue to come my way.

I could focus on the jobs that I didn't get, irritating physical ailments (ugh), the once-beloved people who were once in my life who are no longer, or any of the other things that get me down... but the silver linings shine brightly for me today, and the sun is soon to follow.  I'm sure of it.

--Nicole