I'm trying to be better. Not better than anyone else, but better than I was last year, last month, yesterday. I'm reading books by people who have manifested qualities in their lives that I would like to see in my own, figuring out what's useful to me, and implementing policies in my life that will effect growth.
I get most of my news from NPR and Twitter and check in with both throughout the day. While scrolling my Twitter feed for the latest happenings, I happened upon a video snippet of artist, Saul Williams, giving an interview at The Breakfast Club. What he said really resonated with me on a gut level, so I hunted down the whole interview and watched it.
Of the many truths told in the video, the one that drew me in still stuck with me. Here, I'll let you hear it for yourself:
I've been thinking about my own "diet." When I first started working with a trainer, I just wanted her to help me exercise away the "jiggle" that had crept up on certain areas of my body. When she talked about diet, I would freak out. Mentally, I knew it was irrational, but I had a visceral feeling that she was trying to take something away from me. My reaction was to stop eating ice cream, and substitute frozen yogurt. And to stop eating sliced bread and have a croissant every day instead, and wash it down with an "unsweetened" latte- never mind that the heated milk contains lactose (milk sugar). Basically, my reaction was to play the shell game. I was like an alcoholic switching from hard liquor to wine, pretending that they aren't still getting drunk.
In retrospect, I had a raging sugar addiction, and the thought of not having access to sugar throughout the day every day was as scary to me as not having access to drugs would be to a drug addict. Long story short, I did the "Whole30" for 2 months straight as a reset for my body AND my mind, and I've been able to stay off of sweets in the 2 months since then. I changed my diet, and my body is changing for the better. I have more mental clarity as well.
Saul Williams' video highlighted the need for me to take a close look at my intake of other consumables. If I'm watching trashy reality shows of grown women fist-fighting on TV, being bombarded on social media by viral videos of cops abusing black people, and listening to music that glorifies violence and over a banging beat - what does that do to my mind and spirit? What about the things that I purchase ("consumer" is interchangeable with "purchaser" for a reason)? Do I own them, or do they keep me bound- in effect, owning me? And regarding the people with whom I spend my time- are my relationships in line with the growth that I'd like to see in my life and the overall well-being that I'd like to manifest? Also - what type of presence am I in OTHER people's lives? Am I adding value or am I detrimental? Life is precious... how am I really spending it?
I have some clean-up to do. If you have thoughts on this subject as it relates to your own life, please comment!
If you'd like to watch the whole video (which I highly recommend), click HERE.