You Will Dance One Day.

Ever seen a baby take its first step?  With only a few months' practice at remaining upright (let alone upright on his or her little feet), walking is more than a notion.

First the baby has to see something worth getting to.  And that thing has to be out of reach, but absolutely irresistible.

There is an immediate impulse to drop to the floor and crawl to it, but one of two things happens - either someone holds the baby upright and encourages him or her to walk, or the baby takes a step before it remembers that it has never done this before.

The little feet step a time or two.  Or three.  The body wobbles.  The brain goes "OH NO!" And the baby's be-diapered bum crashes to the floor.  There is a look of surprise.  Sometimes, there are tears, and it may be awhile before there are any more attempts to walk.

But the attempts do come, and, in time, walking takes no thought, and very little effort at all.  There is even running.  And dancing.  Oh, the dancing!

When we start on our path toward our brilliant, shiny, "big picture" (and it must be absolutely irresistible to us), there is encouragement along the way:

a loved one.  a life coach.  a therapist.  a blog post.

And so, we take a step (before we lose our nerve), and then another.

And we fall down.  (wallowing & crying, optional)

And we get up.  (eventually)

And we walk.

And we run.

And we dance to music written only for us.

--Nicole

 

What's my mantra??

If you read my blog regularly, you know it by now, so let's say it all together... "I really should be asleep, but..."

The same is true right now.

I'm just thinking, though. A friend of mine recently reminded me of something that happened about 3 years ago. I was broke, so I called and asked my father to loan me some money. The amount I requested wasn't a particularly LARGE sum of money, I KNEW he had it, I don't borrow money often (and then only when I really really need it), and of the few times in my life that I have borrowed money from my father, I have paid him back every single, solitary cent. Still, the loan came with a lot of hemming, hawing, and a lecture. I knew it would, and braced myself, hoping it would be quick.

He suggested that I follow a more stable career path. I rolled my eyes "whatever, man" I thought to myself, "heard it all before", and I had. What artist HASN'T heard the words "Get a real job!"?? What I heard next really had me depressed for a few days. Like, I stayed in the bed all day, depressed. He suggested that I get trained to be a mortician. Do you hear me?? A MORTICIAN, of all things!!

Before I proceed, I feel compelled to make it abundantly clear that I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with morticians. They are providing a very necessary service (just think about it), and it's an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. BUT nobody who knows me even a LITTLE BIT is going to suggest that I go do ANYTHING that is going to require me to be around dead people. What?!?

Still, here I was...grown, broke, couldn't pay my rent, and having to ask my father for money. I had a college degree (thank GOD) but I started asking myself--"is this what my life has come to? What am I doing?"

My friend Beverly called me, and mentioned that I sounded a little down. I think I had been in bed 2-3 days at that point. I told her what was going on, and after she finished laughing she talked me down off the roof by telling me about some of her experiences (she's a writer) with naysayers, and encouraging me to perservere. I decided then and there not to take advice from people who weren't qualified to give it. My father knows a LOT of things, and has been a wealth of information over the years, but information regarding building a career in the entertainment industry? Probably not the best source of info for me.

I got out of bed, took a shower and started moving forward. I haven't stopped yet. Hopefully I'm at the beginning of my journey, and Lord-willing, I'll be at this for a long time.

Okay, NOW I can go to bed.

Good night.

--Nicole