The last few days has been a test of my commitment and my professionalism. It's been said that professionalism is the ability to carry out your given duties no matter what personal issues arise.
The bulk of my family still lives in Chicago. My grandmother, the "glue" had a debilitating stroke in July '04, and has been bed-bound since. She and my grandfather have been married 46 years, and she and my mother were best friends, so you can imagine the impact this has had.
Without putting other folks' business out there for the world to see, there is some seriously ugly family drama going on back home in Chicago. My phone is ringing off the hook so I'm aware of everything and I'm trying to troubleshoot and talk people down off the roof (so to speak), in-between auditions, shoots, etc. I thought I was going to have to fly back to Chicago, but it might not have solved a thing and it would have kept me away from professional commitments here in L.A. Yes, I had dark circles under my eyes when I went to my shoot last night, but thank God for concealer b/c the makeup artist worked it OUT! (Thanks Kimiko!)
I feel a guilty about being here when I could be of use there, but this is what I do, and if I even have a shot at my own personal vision of success as an artist, I have to give it what it takes. Sometimes it takes a toll. I've decided to pay to play.