Sunday, July 09, 2006

My Life is BRILLIANT...

(3 points if you can tell me what song begins with THAT line...)

It’s true.  Nothing like a little getaway to help you gain perspective on things.  I just returned from Orlando.  My first “just for the heckuvit” vacation EVER!!  Usually I take “working vacations” (what an oxymoron) or “vacations” to visit my family... (again...oxymoron), but a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine called & invited me to visit her and another friend of mine at her timeshare in Orlando.  I said (unlike me b/c I’ve become quite frugal of late) “what the heck” and told her I’d come if I found a ticket for a reasonable amount of money.  Reasonable meaning “no more than $250.”  Well, the ticket turned out to be $424, but I decided my health and sanity are worth at least that much, bought the ticket, and went.  I’m so glad I did.  I got to hang out with friends, went to Universal Studios Florida (even though I never go to Universal Studios Hollywood and I live right down the street), and Disneyworld (even though I have only been to Disneyland ONCE in all of the time that I have lived in L.A.), then shopping for touristy crap.  I bought a FRIGGIN’ TIME SHARE!!  LOL  I have ALWAYS wanted to travel, and the timeshare I bought can be traded for condos and hotels all over the world, so it seemed like a good investment.  4 days later I still have no buyer’s remorse, so I think it was a good thing for me to do.

I got back yesterday, slept from 1PM to 4:45AM this morning (you read that right), then woke up and started taking stock of my life, where I am, and where I want to be.  I could use another week or so of vacation, but my head is clearer than it has been in a long time.  I have been on a hamster wheel trying to get someplace rather than enjoying where I am.  I tell myself to “enjoy the journey” but I haven’t been.  Right now I am sitting on my futon (yes I still have a futon instead of a couch), looking out at the plants on my balcony and they even seem brighter than they ever have.  I’m not on drugs.  I have decided to do what I can with what I have where I am.  No, I may not be in a position to do some of the things I want to do, but there are a lot of things that I CAN do (that I want to do) right now, where I am, with what I have.

I am in the driver’s seat.  Well, actually GOD is in the driver’s seat, but when I say “I” I mean NOT HOLLYWOOD.  Just because this omnipotent (according to many people in Showbiz) Hollywood may not realize or appreciate my worth, doesn’t mean I am worthless.  And if I consider myself valuable, then that should fuel the way I move through the world.  It will affect the way I carry myself, allow others to treat me, and nurture my talent.  Hollywood may or may not catch on, but I will be living my life like it’s GOLDEN (which it is).

I am also at my clearest when I am writing, and when I want to avoid some things I don’t want to deal with, I don’t write.  I stay up all night and either overeat or don’t eat at all for long periods of time.  So I need to write.  NEED to.  And I will.

So if in successive posts you see that I am not taking care of myself and not living with integrity (i.e. doing what I say I will do) feel free to call me on it.  Please.

Alright, I’m gonna go watch the plants grow.  Talk soon.  --Nicole  ;o)

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