My agent hadn't called me by noon, so I called her. She told me that the deal wasn't done yet b/c everything had to go before "the board" and they had to tell me what day they wanted me to shoot, or pay me for the whole week.
Now, y'all know how nervous I get AFTER booking something and BEFORE I am actually on set with the cameras rolling. ANYTHING can happen. So, something did. My agent called at around 4 & said the role has been written out. I yelled "noooo"! She said the CDs told her they liked me, and that they would be calling me back, and that she would be in touch. We hung up and I sat in my car for a moment. I had been getting ready to go buy myself some shoes (gotta keep the feet happy), but I decided to go home instead. As I headed home I realized "I'm okay". I wasn't going to cry, scream, have a nervous breakdown--none of that. I am going to continue to focus on the effort and trust God for the results. All I can control is my personal effort. 24 hours ago I didn't have the job, and I still don't have the job...how am I worse off than before? I'm actually BETTER off b/c now I KNOW I can book theatrically, my agent knows it, and the CDs know it.
So I'ma just keep doing my thing. And you keep checking in with a sista, alright?
Love,
--Nicole
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