What's real?

In our society we are constantly told (verbally and by nonverbal cues) that we are not enough. And at some point or another, we all buy into it. We try to (pick the one that suits you): drive the right car, wear the right clothes, be seen in the right places, with the right people. We try to make our families proud, and make our enemies jealous. We try to weigh less than is required for us to be healthy, surgically alter ourselves and dye our hair so we look younger than we are. You get the picture. Not enough. Not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not skinny enough, not tall enough, not short enough, not dark enough, not light enough, not quiet enough, not outspoken enough. Not. Enough.

But what's real?

Sometimes people ask us to assess "What will matter to us when we are on our deathbed?" But I want to ask something different. Envision yourself (healthy) 30 years from now. What experiences would you like to have had?

I doubt that any of us will say (though a couple might) I wish I had " injected collagen into my lips", "paid $350 a month for 5 years for a Benz", "Bought another pair of shoes", "pants", "jeans"... Again--you get it.

So what's real?

REALLY real?

A greyhound is led around the track by bait (live or otherwise), and likewise, we are led around a track by the promise of being "enough". Once we are "enough" we can relax. Tomorrow. But tomorrow will never come because there are an endless number of people with an endless number of demands on our time and sensibilities. And when we run out of people we know (doubtful), the media is right there, telling us to buy this or that.

When is it our turn?

In 30 years when you are 50+ (which is no longer old, I just picked this age because I think the youngest people reading this are in their early 20s), and you realize have been dancing to the beat of somebody else's drummer your entire life, how will you feel? Examine the things you *think* you want. Are they really YOUR desires? Or stuff you think you SHOULD do?

This has gotten pretty long already, so I'll save any additional thoughts/ comments for a separate email.

--Nicole