I Belong Here.

I had my first network screen test yesterday.

I just had to let that sentence stand alone, so I could look at it all by itself.  Such a little sentence, only 8 words, that carries so much on its back.

It carries all of the career encouragement, instruction, support, discouragement, frustration, sweat-equity, and tears of all of the years that came before it.  All of the miles driven, all of the scripts memorized and annotated, every "yes," every "no," every non-response.  Every plan cancelled due to an audition or a class, every dollar spent on headshots, classes, workshops, audition clothing...

I had my first network screen test yesterday.  And it went very well.

I won't know the outcome for about a week, and I'm keeping myself occupied so that I don't think about it too much in the interim.  It's out of my hands now.  The memorization, the preparation, the "work" - all of that was in my hands, and I did my absolute best, and left feeling "high" (natural, of course).

Whether I'm cast or not involves a lot of factors: talent, look, availability, preparation, experience, chemistry... so, so many variables.  I can't make myself crazy trying to figure out what the decision-makers think.  I can only choose to moderate my own line of thinking.

I'm thinking about how:

• fortunate I am to have the opportunity to do work that I LOVE
• grateful I am for such wonderful and supportive people around me
• I belong here.  At this level.  I've long thought I was ready, but now I know it

It feels like I just ran my best-ever race at the Olympics, and now I'm waiting for the scores to show up on the board.

I had my first network screen test yesterday.  

Such a little sentence.  Only 8 words.  But look at the amount of HOPE it carries on its back.

I'll keep you posted.

XO

--Nicole